“#7 A Letter to Godfrey Cass”
I love this letter of yours. You read my mind completely because this is how I also felt about Godfrey. To him, it was all about materials and money, but we should take into consideration maybe that’s how he was raised, not how he truly was as a person. Perhaps, if Eppie was raised with the same values, she would have turned out differently as well, therefore we can’t truly judge Godfrey for his sense of judgement, because he did take his daughter into consideration, just not fully. What we can judge him for is his inability for sympathy. Even though Eppie is his daughter by blood, Silas was the one to raise her into an adult. Godfrey would be willing to offer his materialistic worth to gain Eppie back without realizing it is something you have to earn, and I don’t think he ever had to earn for anything in his life. I love that you pointed out the wrong in Godfrey’s way, but in a sympathetic manner like you really wanted him to change into a better person. This is great entry.
“The Mark That Marked My Pride (Blogpost #7)”
This is such a great read and also relatable. I experienced this as well back in high school, getting bad marks in english even though I thought I nailed it. I think it’s important to remember grades does not define how good your work is, because the only thing they can base it on to judge is the marking criteria. If you are happy with it then that’s all that matters. Your use of vocabulary made it compelling to read and you had a nice flow overall to keep me interested. It was far from being boring. I also liked your internal monologues, it gave a personal effect that I really like. I like using internal monologues too for that same reason. Keep up the good work!
“Blog post Week 9”
I like your approach to the topic. However, I feel it would be better to refer to Silas’s story as an actual experience in the set environment, rather than something from a book you read. This is a creative entry after all, so perhaps you could have put yourself as a character inside the same universe as Silas, and the letter would come to him as a result of you having heard about the experience. For example, instead of saying you had read about him, implying that another person wrote about him, you could have said that you were a bypasser that heard about what happened and was inspired and felt compelled to reach out to him. That is what I would have done to give the “letter” a more authentic feel. In addition, you might want to pay attention to a few errors, such as “you trusted her own”=”you trusted her” and “vis versa”=”vice/vise versa”. This was a nice read. Good job!
“Blog 6 – Does the education system weaken one’s creativity?”
This is a very good idea that you raised. This situation is very evident in the education system in my home country. From 10th grade, all artistic subjects are cut out of the curriculum and rarely do the schools give students with artistic talent a chance to strive. As a student that was interested in art, high school was very difficult for me. The only way I could get in touch with my artistic side was through doodling sketches and singing to myself because there was rarely any contest or after school club for me to join. Therefore this topic is also very important to me and I am glad you explained it so well. My only concern is that this entry does not seem to link with any of our lessons this week. It definitely has a scholar element which I guess can probably be connected to Arnold’s “Scholar Gypsy”, but even that is a far strech. Other than that, I enjoyed your blog.
“Week 7 Blog Post: Art Gallery, creative”
Hey Victoria, I love this entry! You did a really great job describing the painting as well as allowing me, the reader, to step inside and experience the scenery. You also expressed the message behind it beautifully, which is to emphasize the beauty of nature as well as allowing humans to be mesmerized by it and find serenity. This inspired me a lot with my entry because I almost chose this painting as well, and I can really relate with what you have written. Keep up the great work!
“Blog 3 Week 6”
This is quite an intense letter, and I would probably have the same tone if I were to write to someone as despicable as Mr. Gradgrind. However, your ending sentence does not seem as intense, which does seem like a suitable ending. Aside from that, I do notice that you tend to repeat phrases way too often, such as “your little girl”, and it made the paragraph a bit dull. Other than that, you had a nice idea and I like that you were passionate in response to his behavior towards his kids. This would have been so much better if you had taken a bit more time editing your ideas.
“Blog Three. Charles Dickens.”
Hi Annabelle, this is quite a nice read! I do see a bit of Dickens in your story but not much, which is fine because what fun is in imitating someone else entirely. What I got from your story is a vibrant suburban where everyone is different as well as lively, which is why I personally do not think the image was the right visual for your blog. I see more of the Sydney city highway more than the suburb you described. It is just a little note you should take into consideration. Aside from that, your story is really great. Keep it up!