Blog 6 – Red tulle

CREATIVE: Take a line from either Lowell or Frost and build your own poem trying, where possible, to imitate the style of the poet chosen.
PicsArt_09-21-04.52.41
Collage by me

Line taken from Robert Lowell’s “The Quaker Graveyard in Nantucket”, part VI. Our Lady of Walsingham

 

Like the scent of a summer forest, you caress me

Like the eye of a bald eagle, you watch for me

Like the sunlight so effervescently piercing through, you comfort me

Like the love songs I love to sing, you enchant me.

 

Like Amelia, we soared across the world

Like Marilyn, it was us against the world

Like Presley, our love was tender, but darling

Summer’s gone, Danny boy, and the roses are falling.

 

I bit the apple with the peach in my hand,

And crushed both as easy as a glance.

Like cows to the old shrine, until you lose

Track of your dragging pain.

 

We both know it’s not fashionable to love me.

Like a child of the winter, I tore apart your tulle

Not knowing I could never fix it.

I never knew I could be so cruel.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Blog 6 – Red tulle

  1. Hi Jamie,
    Interesting poem you have created here. There are some good lines in the piece, but I feel some of the images don’t fit together well. I think they either need to be consistent with the simile structure or not use so many. Perhaps if you condense it to an image per stanza and turned some of the similes into metaphors, this would provide a stronger image. Also,some of the pop culture references could be stronger.
    Cheers,
    Brendon

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s