Peer review 3

“Blog 3 Week 6”

https://josephzia.wordpress.com/2017/04/10/blog-3-week-6/

Hi Joseph,
This is quite an intense letter, and I would probably have the same tone if I were to write to someone as despicable as Mr. Gradgrind. However, your ending sentence does not seem as intense, which does seem like a suitable ending. Aside from that, I do notice that you tend to repeat phrases way too often, such as “your little girl”, and it made the paragraph a bit dull. Other than that, you had a nice idea and I like that you were passionate in response to his behavior towards his kids. This would have been so much better if you had taken a bit more time editing your ideas.

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